


Milk Pasta

by polluxcastor



Category: TWRP | Tupper Ware Remix Party (Band)
Genre: Cooking, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:14:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polluxcastor/pseuds/polluxcastor
Summary: Lord Phobos has a late night cooking adventure.





	Milk Pasta

It was time to finally learn. Phobos snuck down to the kitchen one night. Everyone was fast asleep, with the exception of Havve of course, but by this time of night, he mostly kept to himself anyway. It was the perfect time to do this. No one would be around to criticise him. He pulled out his phone, and pulled out a box of mac and cheese. It was now or never. 

Phobos looked up instructions online on how to make box mac and cheese. He had seen Sung do it so many times. It couldn’t be that hard, could it? He pulled out the pan that was indicated on the box and filled it with water like the instructions said. He set it on the stove. Now he was stuck. 

With his phone clutched in one hand, he stared at the stove with all its dials. Which one did he use? Why the hell were there four options? He started trying to turn the knobs on the stove, but they didn’t budge. Phobos made a soft noise of frustration, pushing on in. When he turned it it clicked. Then suddenly...WHOOSH. Fire erupted from the gas nodes, making Phobos squeak and jump back from the stove. He let out a soft sigh of relief, looking at the pan, and looking at the burner. The wrong burner was lit. No problem, Phobos thought, picking up the pan of water, moving it over towards the lit burner. Except, he moved too fast, the water sloshed, and the flame was extinguished with a loud hiss. Phobos wrinkled his nose at the smell of gas still coming out of the node, and quickly turned the burner off. This wasn’t going well. 

Cooking was hot work. His hair was sticking to his face. He pulled it back, securing it in place with a rubber band. A loose bun would work for now. He tried to turn on the same burner as before. It clicked and clicked, but no flame came out. Maybe it was too wet. He turned it off and started turning the other burners on. The one below it clicked on without an issue. Phobos sighed with relief, carefully moving the too full pot of water onto the burner. Once it was settled, Phobos stepped back and actually felt proud of himself. 

According to the great Google on his phone, it said it would take a little bit for the water to boil. Phobos had no idea what boiling water looked like. Time to look that up too, he guessed. According to a quick image search, it looked like when there were a lot of really big bubbles in the water. Easy enough. Phobos slumped against the wall, waiting. This was taking a really long time. He peered into the water every so often, and there were a few bubbles, but never any more than just that. How long was it supposed to take?

Just as he slumped against the wall, he heard what he presumed to be the sound of water boiling. He hurried over to the pan, getting a face full of steam. He stepped back and grinned. Awesome, he had done something. He grabbed the box of mac and cheese and tore the top off as instructed. He pulled out the cheese packet and dumped the noodles into the boiling water. 

The one thing Phobos didn’t account for however was that when you add something to water it makes the water level rise. So as expected, when he poured the entire box of mac and cheese into the boiling water, a good amount of water came spilling over the edge, onto the stovetop, and onto the floor. Phobos squeaked and jumped back from the stove as the hot water splashed onto the ground. He dug through the drawer of spoons and other kitchen utensils, pulling out a whisk. He gave the water a gentle stir because it seemed like the right thing to do. 

Phobos checked his phone. Cook for 13 minutes. Got it. He set a timer and leaned back against the wall. As his timer slowly counted down, the water in the pot began to rise. A thick white foam rose high on top of the pot. Phobos looked up and gasped. He hurried over to the pan, but because of the quick motion he made, the tower of foam fell over and onto the stove top, making a hideous hissing noise. Phobos hisses and blows on the pot of noodles, watching the foam vanish. As soon as he stops blowing, the foam rises again. Okay, Phobos thought, blowing on the pan once more, this isn’t so bad. 

The timer on his phone went off and he fumbled for his phone to stop the alarm. He managed to find the strainer, set it in the sink, and dumped the whole pan of noodles into the strainer. Perfect. One step closer to mac and cheese. Phobos dumped the contents of the strainer back into the pan and set it back on the burner. Perfect. Next step. 

Phobos read over the directions on the box. Add milk, butter, and the powdered cheese sauce stuff. Okay cool. Phobos stared at the directions for a bit longer. Milk. Milk. 

What’s milk?

Phobos blinked a few times, looking between the pan of noodles without water sitting on the still on burner and the box in his hand. The noodles were sizzling. He pulled out his phone. Before he was able to google search what milk was, his phone shut itself off, battery depleted. Great, Phobos thought, putting his hand on his head. Oh boy. 

Whatever it was he needed to hurry. He opened the cabinet. Surely whatever Milk was it’d be labeled, right? He started frantically digging through the cabinet pulling out everything that started with the letter M. Nothing. He went to the pantry, doing the same, frantically digging through the pantry with no luck. The noodles were starting to smoke now. He made a distressed chirping noise, tugging at his still tied back hair. What could it be?

Before he could start searching elsewhere in the kitchen, he saw Havve Hogan appear out of the corner of his eye. 

“LORD PHOBOS?” Havve asked, tilting his head. Phobos, who was panicking by this point, gestured frantically at the pot of now burning noodles on the stove, squeaking incoherently. 

“LORD PHOBOS I CANNOT UNDERSTAND YOU. PLEASE SIGN CLEARLY.” Havve said, a sort of irritation in his voice. 

‘WHAT THE FUCK IS MILK!!!!!???’ Phobos signed stomping his foot on the ground. ‘MILK! MILK! I NEED FUCKING MILK!!’

“OH.” Havve simply walked over to the fridge, opening it up, pulling out a half gallon of milk before handing it to Phobos. 

“HERE YOU GO.” 

Phobos let out a sigh of relief, opening it quickly, dumping almost the entire thing into the pot of burning noodles. This motion made Havve make a noise of disapproval. 

“LORD PHOBOS, I THINK IT MAY BE IN YOUR BEST INTEREST THAT UNTIL ONE OF US IS ABLE TO TEACH YOU TO COOK, THAT YOU REFRAIN FROM DOING SO.” Havve said, shaking his head. 

‘What do you mean?!! I was doing so well!’ Phobos signed, shoulders sinking in defeat. He looked at the milk noodles on the stove. Havve turned the stove off, the blue flame extinguished. 

“LOOK, IT’S LATE. I’LL MAKE YOU SOME MAC AND CHEESE AND BRING IT TO YOU. YOU’VE DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE IN THE KITCHEN TONIGHT.” Havve said, turning to face Phobos. With a sigh, he sulked off, slinking back upstairs, utterly defeated. Maybe he should have charged his phone before doing this. Yeah, that would have helped.


End file.
